I think I'm ready to run for political office. I have no qualifications to speak of; I never served on the student council or chaired a single committee for the PTSA. I don't attend homeowners association meetings. I don't go to public hearings given by the zoning board. But I have opinions, lots of them. I'm reasonably attractive for my age, have raised three children and had several careers. I'm intelligent and articulate. But I've never been to Alaska, written talking points on my hand or won a beauty contest. I transferred from one college to another, stayed there and got a degree...on time. My seal of approval does not get anybody elected. I don't speak in generalities, wink and say "You betcha." So maybe I'm not cut out for politics.
In other words, I'm not Sarah Palin. She has better skin, whiter teeth and a pricier wardrobe. She knows how to fish and hunt. I don't have a Twitter account. I'm several years older than Sarah. Men look twice at me but not three or four times. I came of age with the real feminist movement and marched for choice in D.C. I guess that leaves me out. Except in a case of self-defense, I would never kill a moose or polar bear. I don't spy on Putin from my kitchen window. What can I possibly offer my country?
I do have great legs but varicose veins invaded them. I could stand to lose five to ten more pounds. I'm a semi-vegetarian and I can effectively describe the Bush doctrine. No, there's no hope for me. I don't want to cut rich people's taxes. Not in a tanking economy with nearly 10% unemployment and startling new statistics showing we're going downhill financially. To reinvent myself as a high-powered female political machine I'll need Botox, a fanny lift and fresh peroxide on my hair. I'll need to stay mum about foreign policy and forget who's leading what country. I must brush up my use of cliches, embrace a decades-old Republican party line and rethink my teaching of sex education. No more condoms for my boys--just zip it.
I'd better quit while I'm ahead, stop reading the New York Times. Purge all records of having cast my first presidential campaign vote for Carter and working for Obama. Who needs a free-thinking liberal Boomer who doesn't have a legal trail, and wouldn't feel comfortable charging taxpayers with redecorating her governor's office? No Paul, my husband of nearly 25 years, forget about becoming the First Dude. How can we package our couplehood if we don't have a daughter who's given birth out of wedlock? It takes cojones to stand with Sarah, to usher in a Year of The Woman in Washington. Nope, no public service for a gal like me who'd like to help poor, unappealing women get a leg up the ladder. And heavens to Betsy, I'd have to proclaim: That Supreme Court needs an injection of conservative testosterone! I definitely don't have what it takes. Not with an A in debate class on my high school transcript.
Oh well, I wouldn't look good as a brunette anyway.
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Enjoyed your coy comparisons, yet would it not better be to compare oneself with a character of one's own ilk? Say, Madeline Albright, where you would certainly shine?
ReplyDeleteAs Rush so often notes, the left will always tell of whom they fear,and certainly Sarah fits that profile if the gauge is darts thrown her way.
How does 'W' appear? Say,except to vibrantly only show Charlie Gibson's ignorance of the Doctrine's mecurial mystery which was, in actuality, to spread Freedom? And lo, hence his resignation from ABC.
I say, let's copy Popeye: "I is who I is..."
I wish I knew how to effectively ignore Ms. Palin.
ReplyDeleteThere actually are some good politicians. The ones I know are active at the very local level. Moving up through the ranks to more powerful and pretigious offices seems to corrupt them all. The best ones stay local and then get out when they can't stand it anymore because it is very difficult work and on the local level it usually doesn't pay much if anything.
The whole divided partisan flavor of the national political scene slops its mess back on the local politician who is merely trying to facilitate basic services in the community. These days, anyone who doesn't agree with a local decision invokes all the hatespeak propagated in national politics. I've witnessed local council people be railed at and called socialists because they voted to build a short section of sidewalk that would better connect the local area with the Elementary School.
Eben--I'm sure Sarah has legions of fans to come to her rescue. I'm just a dot in the macrocosmic blogosphere. Good looks never hurt a politician (see JFK) but when that's the extent, by and large, of what one has to offer then Houston, we have a problem. Sarah has convictions and a dash of charisma, but I don't see how one can make the case for her intellect and command of global knowledge. I think I'm being pretty charitable putting it that diplomatically. If it makes you feel better, I have extended family members who love Baracuda. As for Madeline Albright, I'd win hands down in a runoff with the former Madame Secy' if looks were what counts in the voting booth. I don't, however, presume to have her bona fides on the world stage. My awareness of my limitations is what separates me from Ms. Palin. I think our country would be a lot healthier if we ignored her, Beck and Rush. Sarah's inability to define the Bush Doctrine was one of many revelations in her vacuous interview with Katie Couric.
ReplyDeleteRe: our difference of opinion: that's what makes horse races. Or should I say shark swims...?
Tom--a sad commentary on "all politics is local." Slime all too often rises to the top, no doubt. I remember Eagleton being derailed as a veep candidate because he'd been treated for depression years before the '72 election. It seems one has to have lived a sterile existence incubated in some lifeproof womb to survive the onslaught of the media, etc. Setting the bar at that level leaves out a whole lot of interesting, compelling and dedicated public servants.
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